I didn’t realise anyone cared enough to sponsor me

P&G – proud sponsors of Mums”

I was hoping to learn that as a mother, I could apply to them for funds spent on spa breaks (to catch up on those years of lost sleep – feeding, rocking, soothing, mopping brows, holding hands, making up comforting stories at 3.10 in the morning about unicorns who breathed magic sleep spells on wakeful children…)

Or a course of manicures (years scraping things of school uniform minutes before we’re due to leave the house).

I’m due some serious osteopathy from carrying children and pushing pushchairs laden with child plus as many groceries as the basket will carry. There are other treatments and services I could apply for but why can’t I find a form on their website? ‘Mums: apply for funds here’ sort of thing.

Is their site unfinished? Or broken? Have I missed some deadline?

No!

When they say, ‘Proud sponsors of Mums’ they means they put a couple of us on TV (in ads selling their products no doubt) and have done with it.

I’ve trawled their site and can’t find anything more ‘sponsor-like’ than this element. A marketing nod at the people who probably buy most their stuff. Ta, P&G but you can keep it.

I think ‘sponsor’ is the wrong word. ‘Acknowledger’ or ‘mentioner’ or even ‘Proud to have a few Mums appear for free on TV and save us from hiring a professional to sell our big brands-er’

This feels more like ridiculing mothers.

Get P&G’s name out there, give the impression that they value mothers and … well… get their name out there. Feeble marketing. And mothers aren’t stupid.

Give us real things that help us in our job as mothers and we might start telling our rich and powerful friends (other marvellous mothers) that P&G is a good brand.

There’s no denying we’re great; but once big companies get incolved, it’s a case of payinglip service to who they think is their target audience (P&G’s main brands cover make up and cleaning chemicals).

Give me a break (At Ragdale Hall spa please…)